We asked Derek, a 14-year-old JCPS high school student, to log his time spent on the phone in an average day so we could get an idea of what it’s like to be a teen in the digital age.

Here’s what we learned:

6 a.m. Woke up for school and checked my phone to see what happened the night before. David was blading and broke his leg. He sent me photos of before and after they cast it. It is gross but cool too.

I am late and have to get ready. I turn on my music.

6:40 a.m. On the bus with my sister. We both have one ear bud in listening to tunes. Mom says never have both ears covered; need to know what is going on around me.

7:05 a.m. Headed to the cafeteria. Chillin’ with friends. Music on with my ear buds hanging over my ears. Check for texts before class — the usual convos — no need to reply.

7:35 a.m. First class is AP Geography. I use my phone to take a picture of a map I need to study. The teacher doesn’t allow ear buds in class and neither do my parents, or else I’d still be listening to music.

9:10 a.m. Food and Nutrition — looking up calories for McDonald’s menu. Hoping we get to start cooking soon.

10:45 a.m. Spanish – I hate Spanish. No phone use at all.

11:20 a.m. Lunch. I’m hungry. No time for phones. I would rather talk to my friends.

11:40 a.m. Back to Spanish. That stinks.

12:45 p.m. Science. Finished the test early so I’m allowed to listen to music. Teacher calls it “your business.” He’s cool. Listened to Spotify Premium.

2:20 p.m. Headed to the bus and checking texts. John is texting about dumb school stuff. David sent me videos of NBA 2K16 highlights.

3 p.m. Back home. Eat and check Instagram. “Like” all the posts. It is important to “like” them even when I don’t really look at them. It’s just what you do. Watch TV while checking Instagram.

4 p.m. Headed to my bedroom to start homework. House rule is the phone has to stay in the kitchen. This is a new rule because the text buzzing distracts me too much.

6 p.m. Took a break to heat leftovers for dinner. Nobody’s home, so I eat in front of the TV and scroll through Instagram. Checked out videos of basketball and football highlights.

7:30 p.m. Homework done. Mom’s home and reminds me about my current events project. I jump on computer to do some Googling and work on the project.

9 p.m. Facetiming my girlfriend.

9:40 p.m. Mom checks in to tell me it’s almost time to get off the phone.

I text a couple of friends until lights out at 10 p.m. My parents allow me to have my phone by my bed, but I don’t check it late, otherwise I lose that privilege.

***
According to Jenita Lyons, child advocate with the Children’s Hospital Foundation Office of Child Advocacy, Derek probably is spending too much time on his phone — but not as much as the average American teen.

“The average teen spends nine hours using media, including listening to music, and 6.5 hours looking at screens per day,” Lyons said. “During that time they potentially are exposed to influential and sometimes negative advertising and social media messaging, they are not being physically active and are not being ‘present.’”

Derek’s parents have done a good job setting ground rules, and that really is key to a teen forming a healthy screen time habit.

“Parents need to set boundaries and stick to them,” Lyons said. “They must also remember they are role models — therefore, parents may have to set boundaries for themselves if they expect their kids to follow them.”

Signs technology might be taking over

• Your child loses track of time spent on a phone or computer.
• He or she turns down or misses parties or social events.
• Your child eats meals in front of computer or device.
• Your child texts after going to bed and stays awake waiting for responses.
• He or she wakes up tired.
• He or she gets irritable if they are not able to check their phone.
• Your child is emotionally invested in how many likes, shares and comments he or she gets on social media.

“A reasonable time limit for screen use is two hours per day,” Lyons said. “Keep logs, reward success at following the limits and be sure to schedule in lots of family activities: Reconnect with nature, walk together, do a puzzle or play a board game, dance!”

What parents can do

• Set limits. It’s OK for your teen to be online. Social media can support identity formation, but know what your teen is doing online and talk about appropriate behavior.
• Create “tech-free” zones. These should always include family mealtimes and your child’s bedroom overnight.
• Become tech savvy. Check where your child is spending time on the computer and what mobile apps he or she is using.
• Be prepared for emotions. Your teen likely will respond emotionally to new rules. Avoid responding emotionally yourself. Acknowledge your child’s feelings but stick to the reasons for the rules: to ensure success at school, quality sleep, involvement in activities, etc.

Your child’s social media interactions can be important teachable moments. Young people often become emotionally distraught over the number of likes or comments they receive online. When this happens, don’t undermine their emotions, rather help them express why they are feeling this way. Learning to recognize our feelings helps us develop effective responses and become more in control of our emotions.

Children’s health specialists reportedly will be tweaking that two-hour daily screen time recommendation sometime soon. The bottom line is to use common sense: If your teen is keeping good grades, making time for family and friends and staying active, then more screen time isn’t going to hurt — as long as it’s in moderation.

Recommended reading for parents

“Wired Child: Reclaiming Childhood in a Digital Age” by Richard Freed

“Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World” by Gary D. Chapman

“Screens and Teens: Connecting With Our Kids in a Wireless World” by Kathy Koch

Hey Sigmund website: http://www.heysigmund.com/raising-kids-emotionally-intelligent-kids-teens-anger-how-to-be-the-boss-of-your-brain/

The post A day in the life of a teen & his phone appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

When I turned my smartphone and two tablets over to my parents, it felt like a nightmare and I thought I would have serious withdrawal issues.

So, why did I do it? I realized how trapped I was by electronics and that they literally stole my life!

As a teenager learning to make decisions on my own, the internet provided me the opportunity to make my own choices. It was liberating and I loved it! I could explore all kinds of information on various sites and chat with other teens I just met online.

However, I soon came to realize some sites were not good choices and others had misinformation, but I was curious so I continued to explore. The more I explored, the more I realized the internet was harming me.

secluded myself in my bedroom connected to electronics all of the time, and the sites I visited were having a negative impact on my thoughts and feelings. In addition, if I was without my electronics, I was unhappy, short-tempered and miserable.

It also affected my grades. As an upcoming senior, I wanted to break this negative habit, as I know the choices I make today will affect my future.

The first day without the internet, I didn’t know what to do with all the time I previously had devoted to the internet and electronics. I decided to do something productive, so I began to read books (lots of books!), color, draw and paint. Of course, I couldn’t just read, color and paint all day; so I decided to clean my room, make my bed and organize.

I never realized how happy and free I could be without my electronics and internet! I wasn’t happy because I was doing chores (no kid is, am I right?), but because I created a life for myself that didn’t involve my eyes being glued to a screen in cyber world but instead connected to the real world.

My friends have been supportive of my decision and are intrigued by the idea. My family is more conscious of the time they are devoting to the internet themselves, so we spend more time together. And my twin sister has given up social media for a while to focus on more important things.

The freedom I have gained by losing my electronics is amazing. Actually, it is a blessing! Not only have I been able to create a life for myself, but I am also growing my relationship with my family — and let me tell you, it’s awesome!

My mom and I now have dance parties in the car every morning, and we talk. Before I was a zombie with ear buds in my ears. I may not be one of the coolest kids for sporting a flip phone instead of a smartphone, but I certainly am one of the happiest!

Everywhere I go I see people glued to their phones — while crossing the street, driving or eating dinner with their friends and family. Don’t get me wrong, phones are helpful because you can communicate easily, but phones also can be harmful.

I know it is not realistic to be completely “internet free” in today’s world. So after school starts, I plan to have a specific time each day to do my homework and eventually allow myself a small amount of “free” time to surf the internet recreationally on positive websites. I plan to have a family member available to keep me accountable.

I feel if my generation could ease their grip on electronics and the internet, we would be a better and healthier generation. We have the power to make this world a better place, and we can start by giving up or reducing our time on electronics and stop being consumed by the internet.

The post The internet stole my life appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

– Deepak Chopra

Think back to when you were a child and you used your imagination to build, explore and create.

Creative play is crucial to growth and development, and allows us to discover our natural creative talents. Unfortunately, as we grow into adolescence and ultimately adulthood, we tend to push aside opportunities to be creative — often to the detriment of our stress level.

When we allow our imagination to run free, it gives the mind a break from having to focus and concentrate on challenges in our lives. Engaging in a creative outlet can be a powerful way to cope with the responsibilities that come with being an adult.

So why not encourage teens to hone their creativity and imagination now as a means of coping with stress in the future? Research has proven that engaging in creative activities can:

•Increase positive feelings
•Boost problem-solving skills
•Improve physical health by lowering blood pressure and stress hormones
•Improve mental health by relieving negative thoughts, depression and anxiety
•Provide a healthy outlet to express feelings and emotion without having to find words

According to the American Psychological Association, teens’ stress levels during the school year far exceed what they believe to be a healthy level. Nearly one-third of teens report feeling overwhelmed as a result of stress. It’s up to parents to help teens learn how to manage stress and to model healthy stress management behaviors.

Encourage your teen to make time for creative activities. Have your teen carve out time at least once a week to engage in activities that he or she enjoys and that allow your teen to clear the mind. Maybe it’s a childhood hobby that got shelved or discovering a new hobby, taking an art or music class, or trying an adult coloring book.

Here are a few more ideas:

•Writing: Purchase a journal (or have your teen make their own!) and fill it with thoughts, ideas, short stories, poems or even clippings and photos.
•Playing music: Dust off that old instrument your child once played or listen to a new type of music.
•Dancing: Freestyle dance to some favorite tunes or take a dance class. Many dance studios offer inexpensive salsa, ballroom or line dancing classes, to name a few.
•Needlecrafts: Knitting, sewing, crocheting or quilting may sound like hobbies from years gone by, but can be surprisingly relaxing and enjoyable to teens who like to use their hands.
•Building: Whether it’s woodworking or putting together models, building things is a wonderful and rewarding creative outlet.
•Coloring: Adult coloring books have become wildly popular. Coloring can take place almost anywhere and can be done for a quick stress-relieving break, allowing the mind to rest from tasks that require concentration and focus.
•Photography: Smartphones with built-in cameras have turned everyone into a photographer. Whether using a smartphone or a traditional camera, encourage your teen to think beyond selfies to more artistic images of architecture, nature or still-life scenes. Try different filters or filtering apps to add more creative flare.

It’s important to note that whatever creative outlet your teen chooses, it doesn’t require mastery of a new skill or creating a work of art — the end result doesn’t matter. The idea is to find an activity that your teen enjoys and that he or she can easily fit into their schedule.

Stimulating creativity may seem difficult at first, but cast doubts aside and approach it with an open mind. As in life, the possibilities are endless.

The post Using the whole box of crayons appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

The pressures teens face today are enormous and much different than what most adults faced at their age.

During these formative years, teens simply aren’t equipped to handle a lot of stress. As a result, more than ever teens are turning to suicide as a way out. In Kentucky alone, suicide is the second leading cause of death in people ages 15 to 34.

“One of the last parts of the brain to develop is the prefrontal cortex, which is essential for decision making, planning and behavior regulation,” said Stephen K. Johnson, M.D., pediatrician and licensed child psychologist with Norton Children’s Medical Associates – Springhurst. “In addition, teens release significantly more stress hormones for a longer period of time than adults when exposed to stressors.”

The combination of increased, prolonged stress hormones flooding the underdeveloped part of the teen’s brain can result in impulsive, poorly thought-out decisions, including suicide.

To make matters worse, most teens who attempt suicide have a mental health condition or substance abuse problem. These types of issues cause them to be even less capable of coping with stress, rejection, failure, breakups and family turmoil.

You may be saying to yourself, “Not my teen. I know my teen.”

So many parents who have lost a child say they never knew their teen was thinking about suicide. That’s because it may not be obvious. A teen isn’t necessarily going to say, “I’m thinking about killing myself.”

However, there are warning signs you can look for. Always take seriously comments such as:

•I want you to know something, in case something happens to me.
•I don’t want to trouble you anymore.
•I don’t want to be a burden to anyone anymore.
•Maybe it would just be better if I wasn’t around anymore.
•No one would miss me if I were gone.

“These types of phrases, as well as changes in your child’s behavior, should prompt a parent to have a conversation with their child,” Dr. Johnson said. “And approaching that conversation in the right way is key.”

Teens need to know it’s safe to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with you. That comes from an open line of communication that has developed over time.

First, try to determine what stressors are occurring in your child’s life by asking open-ended questions, such as, “Tell me about your biggest source of stress right now,” rather than, “Is anything bothering you?”

Reassure your teen that you will support him or her through it. Your teen’s ability to problem- solve, plan or make decisions may be impaired due to stress. Help your child generate possible solutions to the current stressor.

“If you suspect that something is bothering your child, but he or she is unwilling to talk about it with you, take your child to his or her pediatrician,” Dr. Johnson said. “Pediatricians are familiar with common teen stressors and are trained in screening adolescents for depression.”

Your pediatrician may be comfortable treating depression or will refer your teen to a specialist for treatment.

Suicide is 100 percent preventable
Don’t be afraid to use the word suicide when talking with your teen. Talking about it won’t plant ideas in your teen’s head.

If you think your teen is in immediate danger, don’t wait. Take him or her to a hospital emergency department, or call 911 or a suicide hotline — such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK/273-8255.

Help your child build skills to succeed through stress
•Encourage ways to solve problems, resolve conflicts and handle issues in a nonviolent way.
•Build strong connections to family, friends and community support (studies show a teen should have at least three adults they feel comfortable turning to).
•Support a foundation of cultural and religious beliefs that provide an outlet for coping through prayer, faith in a higher power or behaviors rooted in ethnic customs.

The post No one would miss me if I were gone appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

Kentucky teens aren’t helping this alarming trend. In 2014, drivers under age 21 were involved in nearly 24,000 crashes statewide. These accidents resulted in 97 fatalities — one every four days — and more than 7,000 injuries.

“Teens are dying in cars, and much of that is because of their inexperience on the road,” said Sharon Rengers, R.N., manager of the Children’s Hospital Foundation Office of Child Advocacy of Norton Children’s Hospital and safety educator for Safe Kids Louisville. “This inexperience, combined with taking unnecessary risks, like texting, driving under the influence, speeding and not wearing a seat belt are the primary causes of this epidemic.”

The good news: You, as a parent, really can save your child’s life when they’re behind the wheel.

New research from Safe Kids Worldwide and General Motors Foundation shows parents can help reduce risky behavior by talking with their teens, formalizing — and enforcing — a family agreement about driving rules and modeling good behavior. When parents and teens discuss rules for driving and come to an agreement, whether verbal or written, teens are less likely to engage in dangerous behavior.

“Teens who have an established family rule against drinking and driving were 10 times less likely to report doing that illegal behavior than those who didn’t,” Rengers said. “Teens with explicit family rules were more likely to wear their seat belt every time and were less likely to speed or drive distracted.”

The research also showed parents who practiced safe driving behaviors themselves impacted the driving habits of their teen drivers. Those who saw a parent drinking and driving were three times more likely to do the same than teens whose parents modeled safe behavior. Past research revealed that teens were more likely to wear seatbelts if their parents made buckling up a consistent habit from a young age.

If you want to protect your teen driver, try these three strategies:

1. Make a formal agreement with your teen driver and enforce it. Download a sample agreement.
2. Be a role model for safe driving by following the rules yourself.
3. Ensure your new teen driver gets at least 50 hours of experience under a variety of driving conditions.

Download the full Safe Kids study. You also can learn more about local programs to keep your child safe.

The post A deadly road for Kentucky teens appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

What if my period starts while I’m at school?

For the first few years after you start your period, it might not come on a regular schedule. It’s important to keep track of your menstrual cycle so you have an idea of when to expect it. When it is due, start wearing panty liners. You’ll be armed with protection (see next question), so if it does start while you’re at school you can switch the panty liner out for something more absorbent.

How do I carry protection with me to school?

Try keeping your period protection in a small non-see-through bag inside your purse or backpack. Keep a few pads or tampons in there, even when you are not expecting your period, so you know you are always ready. It doesn’t hurt to also keep a little bag with protection and extra underwear in your locker as well.

How do I get protection into the restroom without boys seeing?

If you are not the type to always carry a purse, think about using a pencil case, lipstick case or even a cellphone or iPod case that has a storage compartment.

When all else fails, master the pocket-stuffer move: Place hand in bag, grab pad or tampon, shove in pocket!

What if it leaks onto my underwear or clothes?

Until you get the hang of when to expect your period and how often to change pads or tampons, accidents are bound to happen. Always stay armed with your protection, and during your period carry an extra pair of underwear in your purse or backpack along with a zip-close bag for the dirty underwear.

If you get a stain on your clothes, it can be a little trickier. Portable stain removers (like Tide to Go or Shout wipes) can help but work best if you use cold water on the stain first. If you’re worried, carry a stain remover with you to at least make the stain less noticeable. If you’re able to take off your garment and rinse the stain then dry it using a restroom’s hand dryer, you’ll get the best results. But that’s slightly embarrassing, to put it mildly.

Sometimes periods can be too heavy. If you experience any of these, see your doctor:
•Soaking a pad or tampon in less than two hours
•Periods lasting more than seven days
•Periods coming less than 21 days apart
•Passing clots that are larger than a quarter

What if my teachers won’t let me go to the bathroom?

Once you get the hang of how often to change pads or tampons, this shouldn’t be an issue. You should be able to take care of business before or after class. But emergencies do happen. In those cases, confidentially let your teacher know your trip to the restroom is an urgent female-related issue. More than likely, he or she will understand. If it’s less embarrassing, try writing it on a piece of paper and giving it to your teacher. If you’ve tried these tactics and your teacher still won’t budge, ask to go to the nurse’s office. Another option is to have your parent let your teachers know what’s going on.

When can I start using tampons?

Once you’ve had your first period, you can start using tampons. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It’s totally up to you whether you want to try them. They are convenient and safe, as long as you change them every four to six hours. Tampons come in light, regular and super absorbent, and each box includes instructions for using them. Start with the light absorbency because they also are the smallest. Once you get the hang of inserting and removing them, move up to regular or super depending on how heavy your flow is.

I’m scared to use tampons.

That’s OK. You don’t have to use them. Try them when you are ready. In the meantime, there are lots of options when it comes to using pads. Choose pads that are comfortable and big enough to get you through at least four hours without leaking onto your underwear. Pads should be changed every four to six hours. Avoid scented pads, as they can cause irritation.

Will a tampon get lost inside my body?

Your tampon isn’t going anywhere! Your vagina is only about 3 to 4 inches long, so it can’t go in too far and the tampon includes a string at least that long, so the end of it should be sticking out. If you can’t remember if you’ve removed a tampon, lie down or stand with one leg propped on the toilet seat, and reach into your vagina with clean fingers. If a tampon is there, you’ll be able to feel the string or the tampon itself.

What happens if I can’t get a tampon out?

First, don’t get upset! Second, it’s not an emergency but you’ll want to call your doctor as soon as you can. He or she will be able to help.

Can I pee and poop while using a tampon?

Yes, of course you can. Urine (pee) comes out through the urethra, which is different from your vagina, where the tampon is. Bowel movements (poop) come out of your anus. If you have to poop, that is a good time to change your tampon because it can move a little during a bowel movement. Also, the string can become soiled during a bowel movement, and you’ll want that to remain clean.

Can I still swim? What about cheer or playing sports?

You can do all the things you do at any other time of the month. You just need to use the right protection and keep track of when you need to change it. If you swim, you have to use a tampon. Pads just won’t work. If you play sports, cheerlead or do other activities, you can use a pad but you might find you are more comfortable using a tampon. Pads can shift and cause leakage, and they can irritate your skin when they move against it a lot, especially when you’re sweaty. Be sure to use a fresh tampon or pad just before practice or a game so you know you’re protected for the duration.

I’m the first one of my friends to get my period. How do I tell my besties?

Well, you don’t have to tell if you don’t want to. But, if she or he truly is your best friend — the person you share everything with — you probably want to. First make sure your friend is someone you trust. Do you know she or he can keep a secret and respects you as much as you respect her or him? Tell your friend face to face rather than through text or social media. Avoid telling in a way that can be shared — whether intentionally or by accident. Once you tell your friend, she or he will probably be really curious and have lots of questions. Stick with giving the straight-up facts.

How do I ask Dad to get me pads or tampons from the store?

You may not believe it right now, but your dad has been around the block. If he’s not currently living with your mom or a spouse, chances are he has in the past and knows all about women’s menstrual needs. He can handle it! Just talk to him — face to face is best. Keeping an open line of communication with your dad about all sorts of things you’re going through will build a loving relationship that will last a lifetime.

What happens if I don’t get my period but I haven’t had sex?

Don’t worry — you’re not pregnant! For the first few years, it’s normal for your period to be irregular, meaning it might not come every month. If you skip a month, don’t fret. You should, however, have a period at least every three months. Keep track on a calendar or mobile app (even when you skip a month), and if 90 days have gone by with no period, it’s time to see your doctor. Your doctor will want to make sure your body is working like it should.

Cramps make it hard to sit through class. Should I skip school?

No. You’ll have to deal with cramps for many years to come, so you can’t skip out on life because of them. There are ways to manage cramps and still go to school and do all your normal activities. Try a disposable heat patch (such as Thermacare). They come in a size made just for cramps and are thin so they fit under clothes and no one can tell. Plus, one patch will last all day. If that doesn’t help, try ibuprofen or a combination of heat and ibuprofen, which is even more effective.

If none of these help and you are in a lot of pain — or if you are getting nauseous and throwing up during your period — it’s time to see your doctor.

The takeaway: The more you see your period as a normal part of life, the more everything will be just fine!

The post Pads, tampons, school, life: You got this! appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

Louise is a mother of two teenagers, Pearl, a high school freshman, and Derrick, an eighth-grader. She says her teens aren’t allowed to go on solo dates just yet, but that they have already begun asking questions about relationships. For Louise, it is important for her to have some answers.

“They are looking to us for guidance, and we want them to feel comfortable talking to us about anything,” Louise said. She and her husband have welcomed an “open door policy” when it comes to communicating with their kids about tough subjects.

“What has benefited us the most is not waiting for the right time to talk — the right time is all the time,” Louise said. Almost daily, the family discusses issues related to teen relationships.

No matter what stage they’re in, knowing how to address tough questions and situations is important for both the parent and the teen. Here’s what you can do to not only survive but thrive in handling your teen’s relationship.

Take it seriously!

In 20 years, your teen may look back on his first love and laugh about the emotions of a budding romance; however, in this moment, nothing could be more serious than this week’s crush or high school relationship. Don’t dismiss your teen’s feelings or say they aren’t real. Nothing could be further from the truth. Doing so can build walls, preventing communication or even push your teen deeper into an unhealthy or risky relationship.

“If it is serious to them, it is serious for the parent,” said Jenita Lyons, Children’s Hospital Foundation Office of Child Advocacy of Norton Children’s Hospital.

Walk the talk

Insightful advice and an open ear can help a teen make the right decisions during these turbulent years; however, it may only be a temporary fix unless you are living by it, too. It is important for teens to have role models for healthy, strong relationships so that they know how to behave in and what to expect from their own relationships.

Louise says these shining examples can also be extended family members and friends of the parents. Exposing your children to your adult friends and family who are in healthy relationships gives them more examples to draw from and is important for developing their sense of self.

Choose your battles

We all know teenage years can be unpredictable. Knowing when to step in and when to let your teen make their own decisions is a part of their growth and your sanity.

“It’s one of the harder things to do as a parent, but it is important to give them room to make mistakes and figure things out on their own,” Lyons said.

However, from the parent’s perspective, Louise advises that parents should be willing and able to make tough decisions for their teen in order to help in the long run. This is especially true should you notice behaviors that are unhealthy.

Lyons recommends speaking with your teen if you start to see any of these behaviors, which could be signs of an unhealthy relationship:
•Loss of interest in activities and hobbies
•Drop in grades or academic performance
•Withdrawing from friends and family
•Extreme jealousy
•One of the teens in the relationship is controlling
•Unexplained bruises and/or injuries

What to do if your teen is in an unhealthy relationship

One in three young people report experiencing some form of abuse in their dating relationships. If you think your teen is in an unhealthy relationship, it’s your job to step in and put a stop to it. Your teen may not know what to expect out of a relationship, so teach them what makes a healthy relationship:

–Trust: You should trust your partner and his/her commitment to you. Jealousy is natural, but it should not rule your emotions or behaviors with your partner.
–Support: Relationships should be supportive and not damaging. That support should be there in good times and in bad.
–Individuality: Young love makes it easy for teens to want to spend every moment with their partner; however, teens should not lose who they are and what makes them unique individuals. Encourage your teen to continue their hobbies and activities when in a relationship as a way to build a well-rounded sense of self.
–Communication: Teens should be comfortable communicating with their partner about their feelings. Honest and open communication will grow a healthy relationship.

There are no easy answers for parents raising teenagers. And, while the subject of relationships can send a parent running, it is important to support your teen during these formative years. Open, effective communication can give your teen the ear they need to listen and the armor they need to act.

– Tracy Keller

The post From butterflies to heartbreak and the space between appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

Myth: Wait until your child asks you about sex.
Truth: A recent study finds that more than 40 percent of parents don’t get around to talking to their kids about safe sex practices until after their kids are sexually active. Parents should start these talks when the child is elementary school age. Never avoid a teachable moment. Conversations in the bathtub, in the car or while watching television are opportunities to make the sex talk a series of small conversations spread out over a long period of time. Remember, children don’t always seem like they are listening. They absorb information and learn behaviors throughout their life; when they have questions, they’ll likely look to their parents for guidance.

Myth: Ask a lot of questions to see what your child already knows.
Truth: Talking about sex is already uncomfortable for both parent and child, so don’t make it worse by asking a lot of questions. A general conversation about sex allows all involved to move forward without the child getting uncomfortable by having to directly answer questions. By creating a respectful environment of open communication, the child will not feel interrogated or ridiculed, and often allow for the conversation to develop in a productive way.

Myth: It’s easier if we make up names for body parts.
Truth: The words might embarrass you, but avoid using euphemisms and colloquialisms in place of the actual names of body parts. Pediatricians and sociologists recommend using anatomically correct terms like penis, vagina, uterus and sperm as early as age 2. As the child gets older, knowing the correct terms will allow the child to learn about the words with no embarrassment or implied silliness.

In addition, sexual violence prevention educators say that teaching children anatomically correct terms promotes positive body image, self-confidence and parent-child communication; discourages perpetrators; and, in the event of abuse, helps children and adults more accurately talk about what happened.

Myth: Talking to your child about sex means you are saying it’s OK to have sex.
Truth: Acknowledging sexuality is not the same as giving permission to have sex. In fact, talking about sex often presents opportunities for parents to discuss abstinence, appropriate sexual behaviors and beliefs. Having an open and honest discussion allows the child to learn about sex from their parent (and role model) rather than cultural and social influences.

The post Going all the way with your sex talk appeared first on Norton Healthcare.

Don’t believe everything you read or hear. The Internet is full of truths, half-truths, confusion and straight-up lies. How do you know what to believe? Go to the source. Below are some of the most common myths about birth control and STDs, followed by real truths from reliable sources.

Myth: Birth control is the girl’s responsibility.

Truth: Wrong. You couldn’t be any more wrong. It takes two to have sex, two to make a baby and two to prevent pregnancy. Even the best birth control methods aren’t 100 percent effective, especially when you’re not using them the right way. If a girl you’re with gets pregnant, it’s just as much your responsibility as hers. Period. You might think that sounds harsh, but what’s harsher is that for girls age 15 to 17, 79 percent of pregnancies are unintended. None of these girls got there on their own. Know how to use birth control, and use it. Be responsible. That’s what growing up is all about.

Source: Unintended Pregnancy Prevention, U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Myth: If my girlfriend’s on the pill, I can’t get an STD.

Truth: Umm … no. Not even close. STDs and the pill have nothing to do with one another. The pill will prevent pregnancy, if taken perfectly. However, the fact is that one in nine females will get pregnant while taking the birth control pill due to several factors, including forgetting to take the pill daily. That said, the pill does nothing to prevent STDs. On average, one in four teens get an STD every year. Are you the one? How would you know? Get tested. Get the facts.

Source: 11 Facts about Teens and STDs, DoSomething.org

Myth: Taking a shower after sex prevents STDs.

Truth: Good job on staying fresh, but you’re still way off base. STDs are transferred from one person to another by sexual contact. It doesn’t matter how many times you lather up. And if you have more than one sexual partner, you could be spreading your new STD to the next person. Also, the more people your partner has been with, the greater the chance that you’ll get infected. Young people (age 15 to 24) account for half of all new STD cases. Many teens end up spreading STDs because they just assume they don’t have one. Symptoms can range from embarrassing to debilitating to deadly, so yeah, this is serious. If you have an STD, don’t spread it. If you don’t know, get tested.

Source: 11 Facts about Teens and STDs, DoSomething.org

Myth: You can get STDs only from sexual intercourse.

Truth: Wrong again. STDs are spread through intimate contact, which doesn’t mean just sexual intercourse. They can be spread through oral sex, anal sex and skin-to-skin contact. STDs can enter the body through any opening, including tiny cuts or tears. The best way to protect against STDs is to always use a condom, even for oral sex, and do not perform oral sex on a girl who may have an STD.

Source: Nemours Foundation TeenHealth, KidsHealth.org

Myth: HIV is the only STD left these days, and there’s a cure for it.

Truth: No and no, unfortunately. HIV, which develops into AIDS if untreated, is the most deadly STD — and there’s no cure. There are many other STDs, too, and they can be extremely dangerous. The most common right now is human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause genital warts and several types of cancer, followed by chlamydia, trichomoniasis (trich), genital herpes and gonorrhea. If you haven’t already received the Gardasil vaccination for protection against HPV, you should discuss this with your doctor, preferably before you become sexually active. The vaccination is recommended for both girls and boys.

Source: GYT (Get Yourself Tested) FAQ, MTV and the CDC

One last thought
The responsibility for preventing STDs and unintended pregnancies is a shared one. It’s not all on her. Obviously, pregnancy is not a disease, but these topics are grouped together because a pregnancy is life changing in ways you can’t imagine. A baby can be an amazing part of your life under the right circumstances, but if you aren’t ready, a pregnancy can derail your entire future. Unless you’re prepared to care for a baby, abstain from sexual activity as long as possible and don’t have unprotected sex. If you do and she gets pregnant, stand up and act like a man. It’s a new world out there — it’s your world — and it’s counting on you to do the right thing.

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